Homesick...

I can remember as a kid, I would get desperately homesick.  I found it difficult to even go to a slumber party.  While other kids were enjoying camp, I stayed close to home.  It wasn’t until I was in my later high school years that I actually managed a week away.  It wasn’t that I was scared, or maybe I was.  But all kinds of feelings of anxiousness would well up inside me and I’d feel alone, out of place, worried for those I loved who weren’t with me.  It wasn’t the house or place that I missed, but my family, my ‘people’, those with whom I had strong and deep relationships.  It was really hard.  Harder still was to not let on that while I was smiling, there was a battle going on in my heart and mind.  I just wanted to be home, safe, with those who loved me and in the place where I knew I belonged.  My mother used to comfort me and reassure me that it would all be well, giving me messages of hope and reassurance, but until I got back home, I wasn’t settled or at peace.

When my mother got older, she developed Dementia.  It’s an awful disease that slowly robs the sufferer and their family of memories, recognition, and peace.  As the disease progressed, Mom would often say “I just want to go home”.  My sisters and I would look at each other and wonder, what home is she thinking of?  Was it the retirement community where she used to live?  Was it the house in Huntingdon Valley where she spent 49 years with my father, raising my sisters and me?  Was it her childhood home in the Wissinoming section of Philadelphia?  She struggled because she didn’t really know where she was or who we were, but she did know that concept of ‘home’ – that was a place where she would feel safe; that was where she belonged.  It was where she was known and loved.  Even in the midst of losing her mind, she understood ‘home’ and struggled to get there to that place of safety and peace.

Home.  Isn’t it interesting that God uses that picture of home to describe eternity with Him?  In John 14:2-3 Jesus says, “My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”  Then, Revelation 21:3-4 says “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them.  They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the older order of things has passed away.”  Living with God is how He intended life to be.  Look back to the Garden in Genesis, where God would walk with Adam in the cool of the day.  Can’t you just feel your soul breathe out contentment?  Close your eyes and imagine that perfect garden, warm evening air and the sound of birds and breezes.  Then imagine walking along with God next to you, answering all your questions, smiling warmly at you because He loves you so much, and you thinking, this is just where I belong.  There’s no place more perfect.

Maybe when we feel out of place or restless and unsettled, longing for something that we just can’t define, it is God’s stirring in us homesickness for Heaven and for life with Him.  We were never meant to be settled and comfortable in this fallen world.  God created us to have sweet and abiding fellowship with Him eternally.  That restless, unsettled distraction and frustration is our spirit saying “I was meant for another place, this isn’t home!”  When we face pain or when we come face to face with loss and grief, our hearts being ripped out as we say goodbye to someone we loved, it’s a hideous reminder that This. Is. Not. Home. 

Be intentional.  Recognize that this world will never deliver on those false promises of peace, satisfaction, and freedom; it will only serve to remind us that this isn’t what God intends for us.  Don’t wrestle with your restlessness or make yourself ineffective with angst.  Use it to stir your desire to pursue God, run after Him with your whole heart.  The closer you grow to Him and his heart, the more your heart will recognize your identity and home is in Him. Or, maybe you’re unsettled, but you have no idea why and you’re unsure about how to have a relationship with God. If you’d like to know more about that, I would be so excited to talk to you!

Remind yourself of God’s promises.  He’s prepared a home for us.  He intends for us to live with Him in sweet fellowship.  He promises that we’ll be home with Him and right where we belong, in the place where be belong, where we are known and loved.  Homesickness reminds us that there’s something better waiting for us!   

Are you homesick?